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Palisades Park Santa Monica

How I Work

I take an active, collaborative approach that blends CBT, mindfulness, and acceptance, grounded in an understanding of attachment and neurobiology.

 

Together, we’ll look at the patterns that keep you stuck and make sense of how they developed, so your struggles feel less like personal failings and more like understandable responses to what you’ve been through.

From there, we’ll build practical tools you can use in real life—shifting unhelpful thinking, practicing new ways of responding, and making room for your emotions rather than fighting them.

 

The goal is for you to feel more steady, more understood, and better able to move toward the relationships and life you want.

Step 1: Understanding Your Patterns

In the beginning, we’ll work together to make sense of what’s actually going on.

  • We’ll map out the patterns between your thoughts, feelings, body, and behaviors (for example: “I feel criticized → I shut down → I later explode or withdraw.”)

 

  • We’ll look at how these patterns connect to your history, family dynamics, and nervous system, so it feels less like “I’m broken” and more like “this actually makes sense.”

  • I’ll draw from CBT and attachment-based approaches to help you see why certain triggers feel so big and why you fall into the same loops.

  • Together, we’ll name the themes that keep showing up — like people-pleasing, perfectionism, self-criticism, or fear of conflict.

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  • The goal here is clarity: once we understand the pattern, we know what we’re actually working with.

CBT Diagram Dr. Rachel Lauber

Step 2: Build Practical Tools

From there, we’ll focus on tools you can actually use in your day-to-day life.

  • We’ll identify unhelpful thinking habits (catastrophizing, all-or-nothing thinking, harsh self-talk) and practice more balanced ways of responding.

  • You’ll learn concrete strategies for managing anxiety and mood   — things you can do between sessions, not just talk about.

  • We’ll use mindfulness and awareness to create a pause between what you feel and how you react, so you’re not on autopilot.

  • We’ll experiment with new behaviors (like setting a small boundary, speaking up once, or not overworking) and see what actually helps.

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  • Over time, we’ll build a personalized toolkit you can lean on when you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or stuck.

Dr. Rachel Lauber CBT Tools

Step 3: Strengthen Your Relationships              — With Yourself and Others

We’ll also pay close attention to how you relate — both outwardly and inwardly.

  • We’ll explore relationship patterns: how you show up with partners, friends, family, and at work (shutting down, over-explaining, caretaking, avoiding conflict, etc.).

  • We’ll work on boundaries and communication, so you can be more honest about your needs without feeling like you’re “too much” or “too selfish.”

  • In the therapy room, you’ll have a chance to experience a different kind of relationship — one where you’re listened to, taken seriously, and not judged.

  • We’ll look at how early experiences and attachment history show up now, and gently practice new ways of connecting.

  • A big part of this is how you talk to yourself: we’ll work on shifting from harsh self-criticism to a more grounded, supportive inner voice.

Dr. Rachel Lauber Boundaries 
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Working Together

Whether you’re seeking relief from anxiety, navigating a major life change, or committed to deeper self-understanding, therapy offers a space for growth and meaningful change. My role is to guide, support, and equip you with tools you can use long after our sessions end.

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